WE ALL DIE YOUNG

男人也有28天

在John Gray所著的"男女大不同"裡提到 一個有趣的"洞穴理論"：

"當男人難過或感受壓力時，會自動停止談話，去他們的"洞穴"尋找解答；她們必須知道，既使是他最好的朋友也不能進入洞穴，這是火星(書中論述男人是從火星來，女人是從金星來)上處理壓力的方式。女人不必害怕是她們做錯了什麼事，只要逐漸學習了解，讓男人進入洞穴，一段時間後，他自然會出來，一切都會沒問題的。"

"洞穴理論"的確是看得我心有戚戚焉，這種男女本質上不同的特性對於兩性之間所造成的摩擦可說是最直接的一環。而在書中也提到另外一項論述：

"女人的自尊通常在21到35天之間起循環一次，男人的親密週期和女人差不多。女人的自尊週期不必然與月經週期一致，但平均是28天一次。"

女人若能充分了解男人像橡皮筋一樣，週期性的脫離親密關係，到洞穴慢慢咀嚼消化思緒，就不會因為男人的低潮期而感到失望難過。男人為了滿足獨立與自主而脫離，他全力拉張出去後，又會馬上彈縮回來。

男人若沒有機會脫離，也就沒機會感到想親近的欲望，28天不是毀滅倒數，而是學習體諒、耐心等待的親密倒數。

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Men have 28 days as well.

According to John Gray's book "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus", he dwelled on the "Cave Theory" in length:

" When men feel sad of depressed, they are prone to stop talking automatically and go back to their "caves" to search for solutions, even his best freind's access is forbidden. This is how people from Mars dealing with stress. Women, on the other hand, are not necessary to be afraid of doing something wrong, try to understand the fact when men get in the caves, they will come back to you after a while, everything will back on tracks then."

The "Cave Theory" matches what I behave! I think it's also the most vital event causes conflicts between men and women: the mentally divergence. There's one more thing refered by the book:

" Women's self-esteem normally cycles every 21-35 days, men's intimacy cycle fits women's period as a matter of fact. Women's self-esteem cycle doen't conform to their period of menses, but scientifically, the average occurrence is every 28 days."

If women can realise men will get off intimacy intermittently like a rubber band, and rebound back to you like nothing happened, they won't be frustrated by men's low tide period. Men tend to satisfy themselves by getting independence, when they fully pull themselves out of you, they will come back with stronger love.

Men won't have the eager to love women again if they don't have any chances to be away. 28 days is not counting back for disintergration, its for learning how to be patient and  back to love.